Tellin' it like it is.

26 April 2005

Gender Equality Lacking in Child Custody

I'd like to comment on Feminism is Simply Equality by Maggie Downing,
published April 12, 2005.

Feminism used to stand for equality. In today's world it stands for
domination.

Just look at the child custody issue. Even in California, where joint
physical custody has been law for 25 years, 70 percent of all cases end
with the mother getting sole custody.

When mothers refuse visitation to good loving fathers the courts do
nothing. But if that same man goes through hard times financially, he can
be thrown in jail for missing his child support payments. Even when he
takes proof of his hardship to a judge, it is usually ignored. There is
absolutely no equality in family courts. Women dominate in that
arena. And it is the children who suffer.

Feminists will tell you that the courts are biased against women, that bad
men get custody all the time. I don't see that. And even when I suggest
that both genders join forces to make the courts be equitable, they
refuse. Why? Because they know they are in the best position right now.

Until feminists show me that they are willing to work towards equality in
family courts, I can't be proud to call myself a feminist anymore.

Sincerely,

Teri Stoddard
Fathers for Justice-US
Shared Parenting Works

The Tripod




Feminism is Simply Equality

By Maggie Downing

I don't hate men. I don't burn my bras. I don't spell it "womyn." I am a feminist, and I am sick and tired of the funny looks I get when I say that. Feminism carries a broad range of implications in our society, and even more so, I think, on this campus.

The basic idea at the root of feminism is that women are equal to men. Or as Cheris Kramarae and Paula Treichler so succinctly put it, it is "the radical notion that women are people." How is it that in the 21st century in a society that considers itself so far-advanced we are still struggling with this seemingly simple idea?

I grew up with three brothers and since I was the only girl, my mother's mantra to me as a child was "girls can do anything boys can do." I made the boys play house with me and I played with G.I. Joes with them, it was an even trade. And despite the arguments they have with me just to make me mad I know that those three young men also believe that mantra. I want to thank my mother for instilling that confidence in me; it is what gives me the courage to continue to fight for women's rights today.

As a member of the privileged class it is easy to say, "look how far we've come" and think of the feminist movement as something in the past, a battle that has been fought and won. But upon closer inspection, or any inspection really, it is clear that true equality is still an unattained and far-off goal.

The feminist movement has undergone many changes from women's suffrage starting in 1848 to a part of the Civil Rights movement in the sixties and seventies to its modern inception with a focus on individual empowerment.

There are two ways to think about the concept of gender equality. On one hand, the basic differences that divide our species into male and female will always create an undeniable opposition. This is a fact, but it is not necessarily a bad thing; after all, it is what allows the species to fulfill our natural desire to reproduce. Equality under the law and equal treatment are another issue altogether.

I find it frightening and maddening that in a country that considers itself the most "civilized" in the world we still allow half the population to be underpaid and mistreated based solely on its gender.

The root of this problem, as I see it, lies in the cultural concepts of gender that we force upon people from even before birth. Think of your first reaction when you see an infant, the first question asked is almost always "what is it?" because we cannot even talk about the child without knowing his or her sex, our language doesn't allow it (at least not without a high degree of awkwardness). When the baby is a girl the reaction is usually something along the lines of "what a pretty/sweet/beautiful little girl" whereas with boys the reaction tends to be "what a handsome little guy, he's going to grow up to be so big." So from the very start we force our culturally constructed gender roles onto innocent, unexpecting children.

This process continues throughout childhood, with messages sent through toys, language and expectations of behavior. The reinforcement of essential differences becomes an inescapable part of our subconscious thought process and hugely impacts the way we see the world, often without our even realizing it.

There is no inherent attraction in little girls towards all things pink, that is something they learn, in the way that all humans learn the unspoken rules of culture. So following that way of thinking, why should there be an inherent attraction to math and science for boys but not for girls? This simply is not logical. Any argument for this inherent difference ignores the silent cultural rules that guide and define our lives. Our culture is not something we can escape, but it is something we must understand when it is allowing gender to continue to divide our world in unnecessary and harmful ways.

There are innumerable arguments about women and the positive impact we can have on the world if gender equality could be achieved. I won't get into that here, I believe that all students at Trinity are intelligent enough to understand that we have created the differences that divide us, and so it is up to us to break them down. Only then can equality be achieved.

Equal people deserve equal pay for equal work. Equal people deserve equal amounts of time, money and effort put into research for diseases that affect a full half of the population. Equal people deserve the right to make decisions about their own bodies. Equal people are equally qualified to work the same jobs, think the same thoughts, raise the same children, and occupy the same spaces.

The war isn't over yet, and I, for one, won't give up.

The Tripod