CA lawsuit aims to end sex discrimination against men and their children by state-funded domestic violence programs

On October 28, 2005, near the end of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, attorney Marc E. Angelucci filed a class-action lawsuit in Sacramento against the State of California and two state-funded domestic violence programs (WEAVE in Sacramento, and DVSAC in Grass Valley), seeking to end the denial of services to men and their children. Angelucci is representing four men, including David Woods, and Woods' 21-year-old daughter Maegan Black.

The men were denied state-funded services based solely on their gender. Maegen Black says she was harmed by WEAVE's denial of services to her father, having to witness years of violence by her mother against her father, violence that could have been avoided if her father received the services he needed. Her mother, Ruth, has undergone counseling and now freely admits she physically abused David in front of Maegan for years, even at knifepoint. Ruth supports the lawsuit, stating that her violence could recur anytime and that David will have no place to turn. See the KOVR TV (13) News report video.

Children like Maegen are often the greatest victims in these cases, according to Angelucci, "When victims don't receive the help they need, the violence often escalates, and children who witness it can be emotionally damaged." Studies show the likelihood a woman will abuse her child increase every time she sees her mother assault her father. (See, Heyman & Slep, Do Child Abuse and Interparental Violence Lead to Adulthood Fam. Violence? (November 2003)
J. of Marriage & Fam., v. 64, issue 4, pp 864-70.)

More than 835,000 men are victims of domestic violence annually in the U.S., making at least 36% of the victims, according to the National Violence Against Women Survey, sponsored by the Department of Justice. Most other studies show that women initiate domestic violence as often as men do. Further, according to the California Research Bureau*, more than 4,000 men seek domestic violence shelter based services every year in California. (*See page 12 & 14 of this pdf)

But, alas, California Health & Safety Code § 124250 denies men the right to receive state-funded services, including shelter, hotel vouchers, counseling and court advocacy. Consequently, male victims are shut out of vital state-funded services state-wide. The only exception is the Valley Oasis shelter in Lancaster, which has defiantly sheltered both male and female victims for over 10 years with no problems.

Oasis' former director Patricia Overberg says she has seen men travel hundreds of miles for services because nobody would help them. She states in this declaration (pdf) that she was subjected to "continuous abuse" by other shelter directors for helping men .

Angelucci believes hundreds of other California fathers and children could join the class-action lawsuit. The current plaintiffs are from Los Angeles, Sacramento, Grass Valley and Sherman Oaks.

STATISTICS ON MALE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE


"[A]pproximately 1.5 million women and 834,732 men are raped and/or physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States" (which means at least 36% of the victims are men), according to the National Violence Against Women Survey, co-sponsored by the Department of Justice and the Centers for Disease Control.

The Sheriff's Department of San Bernardino County, California confirms the above figure on its website and also documents how female DV is serious and is usually not in self-defense.

As for men seeking shelter services in California, this official California government (pdf) report from the California Research Bureau shows, on pages 12 and 14, that at least 4,649 men sought shelter-based domestic violence services in 2003, and one shelter in Los Angeles reported even more male victims than female victims seeking services.

California State University maintains an online bibliography summarizing over 100 studies/analyses which found: "women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners." One of them is the most comprehensive analysis of existing research on DV ever done, which confirmed that women initiate DV as often as men, and also found that 38 percent of physically injured victims are men and that self-defense does not explain the female violence. (Prof. John Archer, "Sex Differences in Aggression Between Heterosexual Partners: A Meta-Analytic Review, Psychological Bulletin," November 2000. v. 126, n. 5, p. 651, 664.

In a University of Pennsylvania emergency room survey, 12 percent of men reported being physically assaulted by a female partner within the previous 12 months, often with weapons or hard objects, and the male victims were disproportionately black males with no health insurance.

For a scholarly analysis of the data on male victims, the historical suppression of the data, and a solid refutation of the arguments made by feminists who want to minimize and downplay male victims, see Professor Linda Kelly's excellent law review article, "Disabusing the Definition of Domestic Abuse; How Women Batter Men and the Role of the Feminist State," 30 Florida State Law Review 791 (2003) (pdf).

A Canadian government (pdf) report highlights some of the key data showing women initiate domestic violence at least as often as men do.

Patricia Overberg, former director of Valley Oasis, has a sworn (pdf) declaration about what happened when her DV shelter began helping male victims as well as female victims.

Richard J. Gelles, Ph.D., author of "The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence: Male Victims", originally published in The Women's Quarterly, 1999, states, "[C]ontrary to the claim that women only hit in self-defense, we found that women were as likely to initiate the violence as were men. In order to correct for a possible bias in reporting, we reexamined our data looking only at the self-reports of women. The women reported similar rates of female-to-male violence compared to male-to-female, and women also reported they were as likely to initiate the violence as were men.

Even crime surveys, which are conducted by asking participants about "crime" (and thus limit the figures only to DV that is seen as "crime"), now show that at least 25% of DV is against men and that 25% of perpetrators are women.

California men interested in joining this lawsuit should contact Marc E. Angelucci, Esq.

For more information about California fathers' rights visit these websites:
National Coalition of Free Men Los Angeles Chapter
California Aliance for Families and Children
Comeback Dads
Child's Right

Thank you Blogcritics.org.

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Fathers4Justice Accuses Granada of "Violent Conspiracy"

In a press release just issued, Fathers 4 Justice accuses Granada's Tonight program of orchestrating a "violent conspiracy" in stage-managing a physical attack by one former member of the organization on two others on March 21st, 2005 which they allege to have filmed while covertly following the organization's activities.

The incident involved a vulnerable individual with mental health problems who had been plied with alcohol all day by an undercover Granada reporter named Mike Hardy. According to F4J members who were present, Mr Hardy incited the person concerned to such an extent that he attacked two other members.

The attack was then filmed for the Granada Tonight program by Mr Hardy.

F4J today said that program producer Adam Leary had stated in a letter of October 21st that "As part of our filming we recorded physical attacks on two people who were then part of F4J's management committee - Jason Hatch & Michael Cox - by an F4J campaigner, Paul Nicholson."

Mr Nicholson was subsequently expelled from F4J as a result.

Fathers 4 Justice believe that:

1) Granada deliberately manipulated a vulnerable individual (Mr Nicholson) with mental health problems and then subsequently plied him with alcohol during the day of March 21st, 2005.

2) That he was incited by the Granada reporter to physically attack members of the then management team.

3) That the Granada reporter then subsequently filmed the attack.

4) That the orchestrated attack had been intended for F4J leader Matt O'Connor who had been present for the first half of the meeting but subsequently left during an interval.

5) That the entire incident had been contrived and stage-managed by Granada.

6) F4J will be making a formal complaint to Ofcom about the incident.

In a press release issued yesterday Fathers4Justice confirmed evidence uncovered by Granada's Tonight Program, that it had considered plans to sabotage television transmitters in the run-up to this year's general election, but had ruled-out the action after considering the impact on the public and the democratic process.

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F4J Activists found Not Guilty in Roads Trial

Five Fathers 4 Justice activists who were facing jail sentences of up to two years were today unanimously cleared by a jury in a retrial at Kingston Crown Court of endangering road traffic users during a series of gantryprotests on major arterial roads coming into London on 2nd February 2005.

The five, Jolly Stanesby from Devon, Paul Robinson from Portsmouth, Matthaus Huber from London, Darryl Westell from Oxford and Graham Manson from London all pleaded not guilty.

All five have now said that they will resume further gantry protests immediately and F4J say that they are planning a week of gantry protests across the UK within the next few weeks.

"The verdict is a victory for common sense, for justice and for all children denied access to their fathers", says Matt O'Connor, leader of Fathers4Justice.

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I've noticed our opposition trying to paint fathers as angry ogres, just because they want PBS to give them equal time after showing the anti-father film Breaking the Silence, the children's stories. I used to become uncomfortable when a father would vent his hurt, anger or frustration in my direction. It doesn't make me uncomfortable any longer, because I know that passion comes from love. These dads LOVE their children. The dads I support are not violent beasts, they're loving fathers, fathers pushed to the limits. George Rolph wrote a great piece on this subject last August. I think this is a good time for a second read:

Should I Apologize For Being Angry?

excerpt:

There is a huge and growing roll of fallen men who have given their very lives because they have suffered massive personal and/or shared damage to their families, their finances and their reputations...Men who, like my own father, have placed shotguns in their mouths. Men who have burned themselves to death in protests. Men who have jumped off bridges. Men who have starved themselves in hunger strikes. Men who have lost their sanity...Men who have gassed themselves in cars. Men stripped of their families, children and reputations...Men who have watched helplessly as crippling child support payments have destroyed their ability to earn or keep a business running. Men who have been sent to jail for “waving” at their children in a passing car and so found themselves in breach of a “no contact order.” Men trapped in horrifying and savagely abusive relationships they cannot escape from or find any help to manage, because the system set up by women, for women, will not allow them in. Men being forced to pay child support for children they did not father... Just how damn patient do they want us to be?

MensNewsDaily Blogwonks has the entire piece.

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THIS IS TO HONOR ALL FATHERS

Chhibber - October 21, 2005

Especially mine.

I see a lot of posts by mothers, on motherhood, and about their own mothers but I’m yet to see one honoring fathers. I have been fortunate enough to have a truly remarkable one so this is dedicated to him and many other special dads I see around me in different age groups...

Visit the intent blog for the rest.

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Fathers 4 Justice Bedlam protest draws hundreds

Hundreds of fathers, mothers, children, extended family, concerned citizens and professionals joined Fathers 4 Justice in London Friday for the Bedlam campaign for overnight stays for children and their noncustodial parents.

Fathers 4 Justice is part of a worldwide civil and human rights movement fighting for equal rights for all fit parents through family law reform. There are Fathers 4 Justice groups in several countries including Canada and Italy. Also prominent are groups like Fathers For Virginia and Fathers and Families New York and radio personality and columnist Glenn Sacks.

Reformists allege current law facilitates conflict and separation of fit parents from their children. Parents must spend thousands of dollars fighting each other, making the other look the worst so they can get the cherished and powerful title of custodial parent.

They say these same couples could share physical custody, and use collaborative co-parenting plans, which leaves them money to put towards establishing two homes or the child's education.

Advocates claim children in most divorces want to maintain the same amount of contact they had with their parents before and after the separation. They say when a parent is only available to a child 14% of the time, or they only see them every 2 weeks, the child often wonders if they've done something wrong.

Activists add even when the laws are correct and the court orders a just decision, a custodial parent is able to ignore the court order knowing they will not be taken to task. They say in cases with visitation orders, enforcement must happen.

They all agree with equal* joint physical custody and collaberative co-parenting, there is no need for visitation orders. (*parents have equal say, and negotiate the timeshare they prefer)

teri stoddard

More Bedlam Photos

Photos courtesy of Daddy Artur

"I had the common misconception that it was bad fathers campaigning to see their children. It wasn't until my involvement with Guy that I realised it's good fathers, who have been given the stamp of approval from the courts enabling them to see their children and the mothers of their children are preventing that." -Emily Blount, girlfriend of Guy Harrison

Her brother has become an overnight pop superstar and her boyfriend is infamous for throwing flour bombs at Tony Blair and climbing up the Houses of Parliament. But, as Elizabeth Day discovers, nothing fazes the very level-headed Emily Blount.

full telegraph article

New Fathers4Justice photos!, New CA law, Free legal help

IT WAS BEDLAM IN LONDON!
























NEW CALIFORNIA LAW - it's about time!

A just-enacted law (SB 1088) in California which goes into effect next January will make evaluators and mediators forbidden from communicating ex parte with judges and attorneys, including GALS, in child cusody cases. It's about time, eh? Now for the remaining states... (I hate to say this, but our "opposition" made this happen. I can't wait until we're all on the same side. Am I dreaming, or can it come true? We all want what's best for children, after all.)

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PBS PROTEST

Take look at this piece by Dean Tong on Mens News Daily, Friendly Fire: PBS Targeting 'Dads' as Predators on "Breaking the Silence"


excerpt:

Suffice to say, PBS' Breaking the Silence: Children's Stories was successful in promoting the ideological dogma that "Dads are monsters and obtain custody for it and that PAS is junk science." But this old news, right? What was more appalling and unconscionable than that were the so-called experts - Meier, Bancroft, et al, who spoke for PBS. This writer does not recall seeing before or after the program a disclaimer that said something like "PBS does not necessarily agree with the opinions of the speakers." The naive and unwitting aforementioned speakers lacked credibility and reliability. In this writer's opinion, other than Ofra Bikel, PBS does also.

And take a look at this piece by Pat Cangelosi on Blogwonks, PBS Bombarded by Protests over Father-bashing Show

excerpt:

Calling Breaking the Silence distorted and one-sided, fatherhood and shared parenting advocates have bombarded PBS with over 2,000 calls and letters protesting the film. The protesters say that fathers rarely win custody of their children, and are frequently victims of false accusations of abuse or molestation. They demand that PBS allow them a chance to present their side of the issue.

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FREE LEGAL ASSISTANCE

Cordell & Cordell Law has announced the topic for the free seminar taking place in November in Atlanta, Georgia. The seminar will take place on Thursday, November 3, from 6:30 to 9:00 PM at the Grand Hyatt Atlanta located in Buckhead.

"Dads and Dollars Before and After Divorce" will examine the most common financial questions addressed during the divorce process, such as child support and maintenance. The seminar will also tackle the issue of modifications to existing decrees when income levels change substantially for either spouse. Attorneys from Cordell & Cordell, PC will share their expertise in these areas using PowerPoint presentations and a Q&A session at the end of the seminar. This seminar is free to the general public but space is limited. To sign up for the Atlanta seminar, please call 404-842-0009 or register online.

A seminar is also scheduled for Indianapolis on Thursday, October 27th and is filling up quickly. If you are interested in "The Ten Most Stupid Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce", please call 317-322-0122. The seminar will take place from at the 6:30-9:00 pmWestin Indianapolis. The seminar is also being provided free to the general public.

Cordell and Cordell is also planning a seminar in the Kansas City area in January, 2006. Details on that seminar will be available later this year.

Breaking News! F4J-UK protestors on Queen Elizabeth II Flyover, more

Fathers 4 Justice Protestors have scaled a gantry on the approach to Dartford Bridge. (Queen Elizabeth II Flyover)

The protests form part of the group's 'Bedlam' week to mark their campaign for overnight staying contact between children and separated fathers.

Over the last 2 months members of the group have sent in hundred's of pyjamas to Children's Minister Beverly Hughes and tomorrow dads from F4J clad in pyjamas will march through London with their beds to the Royal Courts of Justice.

The campaign will see an escalation in direct action after protesting millionaire Guy Harrison scaled the Houses of Parliament in late September.

A spokesman said 'we are committed to ratcheting up the campaign against the government with more protests at major landmarks and civil disruption to roads and railways over the coming days and weeks.'

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F4J-UK to work with Cafcass on Reforms

Despite rejecting proposals by Cafcass, the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service, contained in their 'Every Day Matters' strategy document, campaign group Fathers4Justice have conceded that whilst the reforms do not go far enough, the group will continue dialogue with Cafcass to ensure the advances made are secured and become policy next year.


F4J say that the document includes numerous positive advances including


* A commitment to shared parenting


* Quantifies the minimum amount of contact to include overnight and weekend staying contact.


* Promotes early interventions in family disputes.


Said an F4J spokesman 'We believe we have done as much as we can within the confines of working within Cafcass however we also want to safeguard the advances made and will continue to work with Cafcass in that respect.'


'Our gravest concern is over the tone of the document which talks about children to the exclusion of their parents almost as if they didn't exist and often abdicates responsibility onto their shoulders. The involvement of children is abusive. They are not mature enough to give informed consent and may have to live with guilt in later life if they make wrong decision. Professionals MUST take responsibility, not hide behind children. If children really are unhappy with a parent then they will no doubt vote with their feet in due course but we MUST start off on the premise that that which children want is generally not good for them ie unlimited sweets, not go to dentist, stay up till late, not go to school, not do homework, etc, etc.'

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California residents can now download Shared Parenting Ballot Iniative petitions here or here.

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Please join ACFC, Glenn Sacks, RADAR, FAFNY and me in asking for equal time from PBS to rebut the bad image fathers have after they aired the biased film Breaking the Silence, the Children's Stories. (please click those links to take action)

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Dan Romand of FAFNY and The Family Forum is requesting readers send letters to the editor of the Times Union in regards to this bias article.

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Robert Stone, of Fathers4Justice-Canada, will be attending the BC Human Rights Tribunal on Tuesday October 25th to Friday the 28th, 2005, to fight for rightful dignity to fathers.

The case can be read HERE. (pdf file)

The case questions whether unacknowledging a father on a birth registration is a violation of one's dignity. This has been decided at law in the Trociuk vs. BC Attorney General.

The hearing will be held at the BC Human Rights Tribunal, 1170 - 605 Robson Street, Vancouver, BC. MAP Their phone number is 604-775-2000 ext 2 for directions or hearing times.

Support is appreciated by any and all.

Please visit www.f4j.ca to hear more about the fight for our children to have their natural parents equally in their lives.

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American Coalition for Fathers and Children (ACFC) and concerned parents are putting billboards up in Champaign, Illinois, and running radio promos for equal parenting.

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Phyllis Schlafly has agreed to appear on PEP-talk radio December 11th.

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Judith Miller of Cooperative Parenting Solutions will be speaking at the November 14th Help Stop PAS meeting at the JCC in Houston, Texas at 7:00 pm.
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Please join Fathers4Justice-Canada and me in supporting Arnie Hein in his trek across Canada by bike in support of fathers' rights.

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Join "The Sackson Horde" campaign: PBS assaults fathers!

From Glenn:

I want all of you to join me in our new campaign protesting PBS' national broadcast of the anti-father film Breaking the Silence: Children's Stories. The film, which airs on PBS affiliates throughout the country on Thursday, October 20, portrays fathers as batterers and child molesters who steal children from their mothers.

The film is a one-sided assault on fatherhood which presents a harmful and inaccurate view of divorce and child custody cases. We want PBS to give fatherhood and shared parenting advocates a meaningful opportunity to respond on the air.

I am launching this campaign in order to provide popular support for efforts by Fathers and Families, Help Stop PAS Inc., the American Coalition for Fathers & Children, and the Coalition of Fathers and Families NY, Inc. (FaFNY) to help PBS resolve the problem.

I want all of you to act. Our supporters--dubbed "The Sackson Horde" by one critic--have conducted numerous successful campaigns in the past. We drove "Boys are Stupid" products out of 3,500 stores worldwide--95% of their total distribution--last winter, and we made newspapers around the world doing it.

Last summer over 2,000 of our supporters bombarded Sacramento with calls and letters and helped kill SB 730, a bill which would have given custodial mothers the unlimited right to move our children whenever and wherever they want to. All the Sacramento experts said we would lose that campaign, and all the experts were wrong.

In October we helped fatherhood activists defeat an anti-father billboard campaign in Michigan.

In November, over 2,000 of our supporters called or wrote Verizon to protest its father-mocking "Homework" commercial. Our efforts made newspapers all over North America and the Verizon ad stopped running shortly afterwards.

This Spring we helped provide support for SB 1082, a bill to protect military parents, as well as AB 1307, the California Shared Parenting bill.

To join our campaign, go to our campaign page here.

Best Wishes,
Glenn Sacks
GlennSacks.com
HisSide.com

F4J's Young: "Contact orders are not worth the paper they are written on." , F4J rejects CAFCASS report

photo from icLiverpool

George Young, 34, of Walton, is an ex-paratrouper, and current member of the campaign group Fathers 4 Justice. It took him two hours to winch himself and his supplies to the roof of Liverpool's Roman Catholic cathedral today to demonstrate for fathers' rights.

Young says he plans to stay on the roof for a week in protest over access rights and has a priest outfit and banners reading "Wakey, Wakey Mr Blair" and "In the Name of the Father" .

Mr Young said: "I am just at the end of my tether. "Contact orders are not worth the paper they are written on."

icLiverpool article


'Dysfunctional' Cafcass Proposals Rejected by Dads

Just days before campaign group Fathers 4 Justice (F4J) take to the streets clad in pyjamas for their 'bedlam' campaign for overnight staying contact this Friday, the group have rejected proposals from Cafcass contained in their consultation paper 'Every Day Matters' published today.

F4J say that the content of the report indicates a 'deeply dysfunctional culture' within the organisation that treats children in isolation from their parents and families and in some cases abdicates responsibility for decision making onto the shoulders of very young children.

Fathers 4 Justice argues the report fails children at every level:

*Fails to define the 'child's bests interests principle' or outline how outcomes for children going through the court process will be measured.

*Despite being entitled 'Every Day Matters' there is no sense of urgency about the consultation process or the 100 children who lose contact with their fathers every day in the family courts.

*Abdicates responsibility onto the shoulders of children to the exclusion of their parents.

*Fails to outline in detail proposals to retrain Cafcass practitioners or what budget has been allocated for retraining.

*Fails to outline how it will improve its unaccountable complaints procedure.

*Fails to recognise Parental Alienation.

*Treats Children's and parents interests separately rather than recognising that these are intrinsically linked.

Said F4J Founder Matt O'Connor 'Whilst we welcome some aspects of the report such as presumptions of shared parenting, these are buried in the detail and not flagged in any way indicating that these have been included almost out of embarrassment rather than a desire to improve family law for thousands of children going through court this week.'

'If every day mattered then we wouldn't have wasted the last 365 days speaking to Cafcass nor have to wait another 105 days until their final recommendations are published during which we estimate another 10,500 kids will lose their fathers.'

'Cafcass is operating a dysfunctional culture where children are treated in isolation from their parents, where very young children are often being invited to make decisions between their parents and where the organisation is abdicating responsibility onto very young shoulders with all the long term guilt this will entail. It is indicative of the dysfunctional culture that permeates every aspect of family law and in turn this is creating a nation of dysfunctional children and families.'

Said O'Connor 'We don't buy it and will continue to campaign until the organisation ceases to exist.'

Fathers and: Laura Bush, Judy Sheindlin "it's about time", PBS, billboards

First Lady Laura Bush visited the National Center for Fathering in Kansas City to see how they engage and equip dads to be more involved in their children's education. I hope Ken (Ken R. Canfield, Ph.D, Founder and President, dads@fathers.com) had a chance to speak to her about the shambles called the family court system.




When Judy Sheindlin was on Larry King Live last week, (October 4, 2005), the issue of joint custody came up. An excerpt from the interview:


KING: I had a judge who became a federal judge told me once that the hardest thing to decide was custody cases...

SHEINDLIN: Yes. Sometimes it's relatively easy because the choices are clear but I've always thought in this country we do a terrible disservice to fathers. You know there was a time many years ago when we had what we called the Tender Years Doctrine, which meant children of tender years, young children, always went to their mother.

And then all of the courts in this country said that's not fair. We have to be equal. So, on the books there is a law that says no one parent is favored over the other, now that's honored more in the breach than it is honored in actuality. And, I have been a proponent for many years of there being a presumption in this country for joint custody of children. That's where courts should start.

KING: That's where you begin?

SHEINDLIN: That's where you begin and if you're going to deviate from that, you have to demonstrate by clear and convincing evidence that there is some valid reason why you're going to deviate from that because one parent is crazy, one parent has a drug problem, an alcohol problem, something's wrong.

But that should be the standard joint custody because children are entitled to be raised by two parents even if the parents don't get along anymore. I mean I think it's horrendous when one parent picks up and moves out of the state or moves 250 miles away and some judge in the family court, the domestic relations court usually if it's the mother who has moved away says, "Well, we'll have a hearing to determine whether it was the right thing."

No, no, no, no, no. You can't say to people who you've lulled into this sense of I'm equal, you're an equal father. You can take off paternity leave. We expect you to participate in the rearing of your children, to go to open school night, to be out there to play with them. Very often there are two people working in the household. They divide authority and you're equal except when there's a divorce.

And then, how often, Larry, I ask you the question, do you hear it quoted in the paper "He lost custody of his children"? You don't hear that. You hear "She lost custody. There must be something wrong with her."

Well I think that that has to change in this country because it was my experience in the family court, and I left the family court ten years ago, but even my experience on the television courtroom suggests to me that there are as wonderful a group of fathers out there as a group of mothers and it's about time that this country recognize that in not only the letter of the law but the spirit of the law as well.





The following is my
letter to Pat Mitchell,
President of PBS,
regarding the planned showing
of a film on domestic violence
and child custody.

Promo here.




Dear Pat,

I was shocked, then disappointed to hear, "My dad doesn't love me", right at the beginning of the promo for Breaking The Silence, the Children's Stories.

You say Breaking The Silence, the Children's Stories is about Domestic Violence. That includes child abuse. Since mothers commit most child abuse, are any of the stories about mothers? Many cases of domestic violence involve co-combatants, but men are prosecuted far more than women. I fear every case you expose in this film will be of a man who abuses his wife and kids. I wonder, do you even mention female abusers?

It is not right to air this film without telling the whole story.

PBS meant HONESTY to me. It has always meant TRUTH. Guess what, not anymore.

You owe it to your viewers to tell the whole truth.

This film is likely political propaganda to counter the swelling family rights movement that is championing the cause of joint custody. Research has shown that co-parenting is good for children, 85% of the population supports equal shared parenting, and those who are in power now don't want to give it up. What better way to protect their place than to put fear in the hearts of voters? Representatives of N.O.W. and the domestic violence industry used false statistics when they testified against AB 1307 in Sacramento recently. It worked that day, why not keep misleading people?

As far as PAS, I don't care what you call it, the truth is many noncustodial parents, usually fathers but sometimes mothers, are alienated by the custodial parent and the family court system. I'm sure everyone reading this knows of someone this has happened to. Come to think of it, maybe they don't realize how common it is. Men don't usually speak of heartache. THIS is the world's dirty little secret.

Even if this film was made with the best of intentions, it still shouldn't be shown.

You owe it to your viewers to tell the WHOLE truth.

Tune in to KSEV Sundays 1-2pm

Click here for information about
People for Equal Parenting in Texas (PEP)
testifying at an upcoming
special Interim Legislative Session.

These are copies of billboards
going up around the state of Texas.
Way to go PEP!

REVIEW: Raising Boys Without Men (Benefit to society or slap in the face to fathers?)

REVIEW: Raising Boys Without Men by Peggy Drexler, Ph.D.
Benefit to society or slap in the face to fathers?

If you're a single or lesbian mom who is raising a boy without his father and you want assurance that you can raise him to be a decent man, “Raising Boys Without Men” is the book for you. Peggy Drexler takes us on a feel-good journey through the lives of several boys being raised by single moms and lesbian couples.

What she found was these boys were essentially the same as the boys being raised in heterosexual families. She states, “I came to see that good, loving, growth-encouraging parenting is what sons need. Parenting, moreover, is not anchored to gender. Parenting is either good or deficit, not male or female…”

The women had, on the most part, thought long and hard about becoming mothers. Many were single-by-choice, some used in vitro fertilization and some adopted. These mothers knew they were on the cutting edge of society and were especially proud and concerned about doing a good job. Its no wonder Drexler found that these boys were exceptional in some areas. She describes the moms as having “the wherewithal to develop a parenting style that was both intense and considered.”

The mothers Drexler studied were not average single and lesbian mothers. These mothers had advantages that many single mothers don't have. They were “older...better educated and more financially secure than average moms.” These families “turned out to be an extremely stable group.” This book gives some good ideas for situations that might come up for the reader, but I’d be concerned if all women assumed they would have it this easy.

Drexler admits, “As a specialist in the study of gender, I am extremely sensitive to the bad rap against mothers.” It disturbs me that Drexler writes “…fathers seem to carry much less responsibility for the problems their sons may have.” In reality there are fathers worldwide fighting to be more involved in their sons and daughters’ lives.

For instance, when it comes to child custody in America women are given sole custody in 84% of the cases. Fathers who want equal custody, equal time, and equal responsibility are usually only given 14% of their children’s time and are degraded to “visitor.”

Studies show many divorcing and single mothers see no value in a continued relationship between their children and their father. Drexler touches on this conceit when she says “There's really no research to back up this notion of maternal omnipotence, but it sticks to us like glue.”

Even though Drexler states that gender doesn’t determine the quality of a person’s parenting she paints fathers in a negative light throughout this book. She makes statements like, “Cultural myth teaches us that to become a man, a boy must toughen up, turn away from his mother, and identify with his more aggressive father. This notion not only separates boys from their mothers; it can also propel them toward destructive men and destructive tendencies.”

Drexler states, “In our society, often we idealize and elevate the role of father in a boy's life without giving credence to the fact that actual fathers can be destructive and a boy may be better off without his father.” This is a common problem for today’s men. From insulting advertising campaigns to the Violence Against Women Act that provides no services for battered men, fathers are put down and devalued.

Erin Pizzey, founder of the first battered women’s shelter wrote in her 2005 commentary Domestic Violence Is Not A Gender, “The feminisation of the family and Western society has caused men to become outcasts and a source of ridicule in their children’s eyes.” I believe Drexler’s book is one example as she suggests, “Could it be that today's single and two-mother families are creating a new norm? …The boys...may even make better men.”

I believe with the right attention and efforts a responsible single mother or lesbian couple can raise a boy to be a decent man. I know because as a single mother I did it. Do I think it’s the ideal? I do not. It would be nice to see Drexler do a book on fathers raising daughters without their mothers. I know many men she could interview.

Is parliament now willing to listen to UK fathers?

"Fathers are often the missing link in policy debates about how better outcomes for children and greater gender equality can be delivered.", states Daddy Dearest?, Public Policy and Active Fatherhood, a book by the Institute of Public Policy Research, to be launched next week by Beverley Hughes, children's minister.

The government will also announce that fathers should have the right to six months' unpaid paternity leave independent of the decision of the female partner to take leave.

[too bad they have to do it to "make fathers feel more responsible" instead of just doing it because it's the right thing to do.]

entire Guardian article

Georgia Governor gives fathers hope

Over a dozen members of Fathers Are Parents Too (FAPT) attended the GOP breakfast on October 8th in Lawrenceville with Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue. The governor commented that when he was a legislator he "got more letters related to custody issues than anything else”..."I understand the need for your concern"...“People should be able to expect judges to follow the laws legislators make.




Big Brother protesters vow to continue fight for rights
Oct 7 2005

Jason Hatch (33) and David Pyke ( 49) were fined [Oct. 6] for their part in a failed protest at the Celebrity Big Brother house January 14...They were both fined £400 and ordered to pay a further £ 418 in costs and compensation...Speaking outside court Hatch, the Batman protester who scaled the front of Buckingham Palace earlier this year, said he was disappointed at the outcome.

He said: "I am disappointed. I'm a single parent and they are just taking away the food from my child to pay a fine for a peaceful protest...."The law is still in a right shambles and we are not going to stop." Hatch went on..."you are going to see a lot more of that sort in the name of Real Fathers 4 Justice. We are real fathers who care and will fight for their children and we will get this law changed."
entire ic Birmingham article

Father Christmas 2004 Fathers4Justice protestors plead not guilty. Oct. 7, 2005

Helena Tilbury, 19, Garry Hollington, 30, and Martin Matthews, 37, unfurled a banner reading, "Put the Father back into Xmas" during a four-hour sit-in above the UK's busiest rail line on December 16 last year.

They appeared at Middlesex Guildhall Crown Court this week, along with Edward Gorecki, 47, who is said to have co-ordinated the protest from nearby. All four denied putting rail passengers in danger between Vauxhall station and Queenstown Road station, Battersea.

Prosecutor David Durose said, "You've heard the defendants were protesting in support of the organisation Fathers 4 Justice," he said. "This case isn't about that protest or whether that cause is a proper cause - it may well be. It may be you will have sympathy..."

entire ic Southlondon article

In case the UK government isn't really ready to listen to fathers, Fathers4Justice has this campaign to get their attention

It's Bedlam!
* In support of overnight stays with noncustodial parents *

Please fix family law before I'm a daddy.

California Shared Parenting Ballot Initiative

The action starts NOW!

Petition signature collectors needed in California.
More information at FAIR-CA.org

California residents download the petition here.

AVAILABLE NOW:
Online CA voter registration card
Online National voter registration card (pdf)

~!~

Steve Smith and Pete Chipping, Real F4J crusaders, arrested.
Released on bail approximately 6:30 pm, Thursday, October 6, 2005

Real F4J Wandsworth news story

~!~

Michigan Introduces Shared Parenting Bill

HOUSE BILL No. 5267
October 6, 2005

Introduced by Reps. Leslie Mortimer, Robert Gosselin, Jacob Hoogendyk, Fultin Sheen, Barb Vander Veen, Bill Huizenga, Scott Hummel, Chris Ward, Shelley Taub, Bill Caswell and Edward Gaffney and referred to the Committee on Family and Children Services. State Legislature info on 5267

~!~

Saratoga Judge Engaged In Alleged Improper Use of Office

excerpt:

Deborah Fellows, founder of the New York Civil Rights Council, says that the National Association of Social Workers, entertained a complaint about [Susan] Kahn, one its members. Fellows says that the complaint stems from Kahn allegedly failing her licensing test and because Abramson was using Kahn for "supervised therapeutic visits".

Fellows says that Kahn had failed her New York State licensing test as a social worker and was allegedly unlicensed to practice in New York State. A hearing by NASW ensued and Fellows says it was determined that Kahn had violated the group's code of ethics, breached her confidentiality and allegedly practiced beyond her scope of education and practice.

According to Fellows, the hearing also resulted in a determination that Kahn had "no ethical right to send ex parte letters to the judge (Abramson) concerning cases prior to a judge receiving cases or during active cases if they are unsolicited, both of which Ms. Kahn did".

North Country Gazette article

~!~

Breaking F4J news, Breakfast with GA Governor Purdue

Breaking News

Two Real F4J crusaders are on a gantry in Wandsworth. MAP

Update: They are right in the middle of the big roundabout just south of Wandsworth Bridge where the A3205 intersects with the A214. Wandsworth Town Station is very close by.

Join Fathers Are Parents Too at the Gwinnett GOP Breakfast Meeting with
Georgia Governor Sonny Purdue
Saturday, October 8, 2005 - 8:00 AM




Golden Corral Restaurant
2155 Riverside Parkway
Lawrenceville, GA 30043
(678) 442-8677, MAP

Speakers:
The Honorable Sonny Perdue, Governor of Georgia

Melvin Everson State House District 106

a.. Come and show support for the interests of fathers, children and the future of Georgia.

b.. Show that fathers ARE concerned enough about their relationship with their children to stand up for them. Come to stand up for your relationship with your children!

c.. Be prepared with questions if the opportunity presents itself to ask Governor Perdue questions.

d.. There should be opportunities to meet with Republican leadersand talk about the right to be a father and have a relationship with your children.

Note: We don't know what to expect with seating, the format of the meeting or the topic of the meeting. We assume since the Governor will be the speaker, the meeting may be much different than we are used to. Plan on being there no later than 7:30 am to (possibly) get a seat in the meeting area.


Take a look at Glenn Sack's newsletter this week with the lead article "California, Kentucky politicians blast Glenn over columns." The FOX special mentioned in my last post was based on Glenn's article "VAWA Renewal Provides Opportunity to Stop Destruction of Innocent Cops' Careers (Ft. Worth Star-Telegram, Tallahassee Democrat, 7/19/05). See the video segment here.

Biking4Dads, a very smart judge, VAWA video, more...

Because a Promise made should be a Promise kept.

Arnie Hein made a Promise to his children.
A Promise he will do everything in his power to keep.

"In my eyes I see that I have been removed from the children, and the children removed from me. This is kidnapping." Recently he discovered that many other fathers are suffering the same painful fate. He is cycling across Canada to raise awareness of this problem.

"I need other fathers to know they are not alone. I want to unify the men and children abused by this Family Court System. It is important that the general public becomes aware of this problem."

Please join Arnie as he lights candles in the name of his 3 children and one for all of Canada's other children and fathers on Wednesday, October 5th at 11:00am-1:00pm at the Centennial Flame on Parliament Hill.

Also:

OCTOBER 15th, NOON AT QUEEN’S PARK, TORONTO

Ride around the park for 4 hours in support of Arnie Hein and his trek.

Bring your bike, scooter, roller blades, tricycle or whatever, decorated in red and white.

Snacks and refreshments will be provided.

You can reach Arnie at ahein@crossmyheart.ca
You can see Arnie's website at crossmyheart.ca

Thank you Fathers4Justice-Canada



Hurray for New York State Supreme Court Justice John Bivona!

(I'd prefer to see the moveaway denied,
but at least this is a step in the right direction.)

Judge Bivona declared:

"Visitation with a parent is not the privilege of the parent but the right of the child. Both [the father and the boy] must have this right preserved by maximizing defendant's opportunity to maintain a positive and nurturing father-son relationship."

Newsday article here.

Candlelight Vigil for Equal Parenting New York, September 29

North Country Gazette article here.



From Marc Snider of New Hampshire Custody:

A short video segment showing the truth about the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) as presented on San Diego's Fox6 Television. (click the link)

"A life changing thing forever..." And this man didn't even suffer as tragically as many falsely accused who have lost access to their children.

(the truth: "An estimated 40.8 percent of child victims were maltreated by their mothers acting alone; another 18.8 percent were maltreated by their fathers acting alone; 16.9 percent were abused by both parents." - pdf report here)




The original Fathers4Justice is back in the news. The crusaders who broke into the Big Brother compound were given fines and the 2004 Father Christmas trial has started.

How to Accept Yourself in 10 Ways
from Beliefnet.com

Judith Herman points out in Trauma and Recovery that you aren't responsible for the harm that was done to you, but you are responsible for your recovery. In other words, your freedom lies not in protesting the unfairness of the violation or in getting the offender to care. Your freedom — perhaps your only freedom — is in deciding how to survive and transcend the injury. Don't underestimate this freedom: it's enormous. With it comes the power to decide how you're going to live the rest of your life. As you take the task of healing into your own hands, you empower and make peace with the past.

The Ten Steps of Acceptance

Step 1: You honor the full sweep of your emotions.

Step 2: You give up your need for revenge but continue to seek a just resolution.

Step 3: You stop obsessing about the injury and reengage with life.

Step 4: You protect yourself from further abuse.

Step 5: You frame the offender's behavior in terms of his own personal struggles.

Step 6: You look honestly at your own contribution to the injury.

Step 7: You challenge your false assumptions about what happened.

Step 8: You look at the offender apart from his offense, weighing the good against the bad.

Step 9: You carefully decide what kind of relationship you want with him/her.

Step 10: You forgive yourself for your own failings.

An animation, a speech, a book, honest judges, TX and collaborative co-parenting, and not-so-bad-looking fathers rights' campaigner Guy Harrison

You can watch a wonderful short animation by Giorgio Cisilino about the love between a father and child thanks to Fathers4Justice-Canada. And you can see a video of Giorgio's impassioned plea for family justice during the 2004 Santa campaign. Thank you Amberell Photography




Take a look at
this great speech by Marc Snider
of New Hampshire Custody he
recently made at a Constitution Day
event in New Hampshire.




"I'd give all this up to see her", said Guy Harrison, Fathers4Justice campaigner, when discussing the heartbreak of not seeing his daughter after an unfriendly divorce. From this article in The Independent:

Outwardly, Harrison has everything. A multi-millionaire businessman at 38, he owns an eight-bedroom pile overlooking a private lake, where he jet-skis before hopping into his hot tub...Inwardly, though, Harrison is suffering, and last week - not for the first time - he brought his plight to public attention. The Fathers 4 Justice campaigner who gained notoriety by throwing powder-filled condoms at Tony Blair during Prime Minister's Questions last year resumed his protest by climbing to the top of Westminster Hall and remaining there for five hours.

"I'd give up all this to see her," he said, gesturing to the house and grounds. "It just goes to show that money can't buy you happiness."

Harrison's daughter is the most important thing in his life. He says he has lost contact with her because her mother - his ex-fiancée - refuses to comply with court orders granting him access. Hence his Westminster Hall protest. Once on a precipice, he unfurled a banner and sat there for five hours talking to the media on his mobile phone while hoping not to be shot by police marksmen...

The consequence of losing contact with his daughter was a depression that was "just astounding - as though someone has killed the closest thing to you. "I'm a very positive, upbeat person who likes very much living and doing everything possible in life. When I was 16 my father died in my arms from a heart attack. I think losing your daughter is 10 times worse and I was extremely close to my father."...

"I can go and try and get another court order, but having got three and them not being worth the paper they are written on there's no point getting any more. So I need to change the law.




England's finest batsman of
the last decade, cricketer
Graham Thorpe, proclaims
his support of Fathers4Justice
in his new book Rising From Ashes.





We now have the agreement of some Texas judges that the current system is inadequate. I'd like to thank Ken de la Bastide, Judges Spencer, Carroll, Brinkman, Newman, Hopper and Clem, Doug Nelson, the Herald Bulletin and the Anderson Library for helping spotlight this issue.

Custody cases are toughest for local judges
By Ken de la Bastide

When it comes to making decisions, the five judges of the Unified and Circuit courts said it is child custody cases that are the toughest...Moderator Doug Nelson said it was a rare opportunity for the judges to comment publicly on their roles in the criminal justice system. "It is an opportunity for the judges to talk about how they view their relationship with the community," he said. Spencer said all criminal cases are similar, but it is the child custody cases that are the toughest.

I'm impressed that Judge Newman takes the time to interview each child. I wish every single custody case could receive this kind of care.

"We have implemented programs for people going through a divorce," Newman said. "We have the Children in the Middle and Children of Divorce programs in place." "I interview the children and try to get a feel for their lives and thoughts," he said.

more... Herald Bulletin article

I have to say that I'm also impressed with the efforts being made in Texas to encourage collaborative co-parenting. As this article shows, co-parenting is good for children.

The Parenting Center offers a co-parenting class as part of their Family Transitions program as well as the Children in the Middle class mentioned in the article. Fort Worth location MAP Arlington location MAP They offer these links. More information here (pdf)

You might also want to take a look at the People for Equal Parenting website. They're on radio KSEV, Sundays 1-2 pm. Call-in numbers are (281) 558-KSEV (5738), and *KSEV, a freeVerizon Wireless call.