Fathers and: Laura Bush, Judy Sheindlin "it's about time", PBS, billboards

First Lady Laura Bush visited the National Center for Fathering in Kansas City to see how they engage and equip dads to be more involved in their children's education. I hope Ken (Ken R. Canfield, Ph.D, Founder and President, dads@fathers.com) had a chance to speak to her about the shambles called the family court system.




When Judy Sheindlin was on Larry King Live last week, (October 4, 2005), the issue of joint custody came up. An excerpt from the interview:


KING: I had a judge who became a federal judge told me once that the hardest thing to decide was custody cases...

SHEINDLIN: Yes. Sometimes it's relatively easy because the choices are clear but I've always thought in this country we do a terrible disservice to fathers. You know there was a time many years ago when we had what we called the Tender Years Doctrine, which meant children of tender years, young children, always went to their mother.

And then all of the courts in this country said that's not fair. We have to be equal. So, on the books there is a law that says no one parent is favored over the other, now that's honored more in the breach than it is honored in actuality. And, I have been a proponent for many years of there being a presumption in this country for joint custody of children. That's where courts should start.

KING: That's where you begin?

SHEINDLIN: That's where you begin and if you're going to deviate from that, you have to demonstrate by clear and convincing evidence that there is some valid reason why you're going to deviate from that because one parent is crazy, one parent has a drug problem, an alcohol problem, something's wrong.

But that should be the standard joint custody because children are entitled to be raised by two parents even if the parents don't get along anymore. I mean I think it's horrendous when one parent picks up and moves out of the state or moves 250 miles away and some judge in the family court, the domestic relations court usually if it's the mother who has moved away says, "Well, we'll have a hearing to determine whether it was the right thing."

No, no, no, no, no. You can't say to people who you've lulled into this sense of I'm equal, you're an equal father. You can take off paternity leave. We expect you to participate in the rearing of your children, to go to open school night, to be out there to play with them. Very often there are two people working in the household. They divide authority and you're equal except when there's a divorce.

And then, how often, Larry, I ask you the question, do you hear it quoted in the paper "He lost custody of his children"? You don't hear that. You hear "She lost custody. There must be something wrong with her."

Well I think that that has to change in this country because it was my experience in the family court, and I left the family court ten years ago, but even my experience on the television courtroom suggests to me that there are as wonderful a group of fathers out there as a group of mothers and it's about time that this country recognize that in not only the letter of the law but the spirit of the law as well.





The following is my
letter to Pat Mitchell,
President of PBS,
regarding the planned showing
of a film on domestic violence
and child custody.

Promo here.




Dear Pat,

I was shocked, then disappointed to hear, "My dad doesn't love me", right at the beginning of the promo for Breaking The Silence, the Children's Stories.

You say Breaking The Silence, the Children's Stories is about Domestic Violence. That includes child abuse. Since mothers commit most child abuse, are any of the stories about mothers? Many cases of domestic violence involve co-combatants, but men are prosecuted far more than women. I fear every case you expose in this film will be of a man who abuses his wife and kids. I wonder, do you even mention female abusers?

It is not right to air this film without telling the whole story.

PBS meant HONESTY to me. It has always meant TRUTH. Guess what, not anymore.

You owe it to your viewers to tell the whole truth.

This film is likely political propaganda to counter the swelling family rights movement that is championing the cause of joint custody. Research has shown that co-parenting is good for children, 85% of the population supports equal shared parenting, and those who are in power now don't want to give it up. What better way to protect their place than to put fear in the hearts of voters? Representatives of N.O.W. and the domestic violence industry used false statistics when they testified against AB 1307 in Sacramento recently. It worked that day, why not keep misleading people?

As far as PAS, I don't care what you call it, the truth is many noncustodial parents, usually fathers but sometimes mothers, are alienated by the custodial parent and the family court system. I'm sure everyone reading this knows of someone this has happened to. Come to think of it, maybe they don't realize how common it is. Men don't usually speak of heartache. THIS is the world's dirty little secret.

Even if this film was made with the best of intentions, it still shouldn't be shown.

You owe it to your viewers to tell the WHOLE truth.

Tune in to KSEV Sundays 1-2pm

Click here for information about
People for Equal Parenting in Texas (PEP)
testifying at an upcoming
special Interim Legislative Session.

These are copies of billboards
going up around the state of Texas.
Way to go PEP!