what a weekend!
(made ya look!)
I'd like to introduce you to a new feature on the Feminist4Fathers blog, Ask Dr Sophy. Dr. Charles Sophy serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services, and has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. He is board-certified in three clinical specialties, including adult psychiatry, child/adolescent psychiatry and family practice. Feel free to submit questions directly to Dr. Sophy regarding the struggles of dealing with child custody. Please add "Feminist4Fathers" to the subject line so the question and answer can appear here (anonymously).
August 14, 2005 - Ask Dr Sophy:
I am the victim of severe Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) perpetrated by my ex-wife and a victim of legal abuse perpetrated by a family court judge, attorneys and their legal system which helped permanently exile me from my kids despite no wrongdoing on my part. Despite the mother being convicted of criminal family abuse and having a long documented history of alienating my two daughters - now 16 and almost 18 - against me, a hateful, biased and corrupt family court judge punished my public opposition to him by allowing a long distance out-of-state move away of my daughters by their mother (He violated a number of laws and statutes by permitting this and appeals are fruitless - but that is another story). I - nor my entire family - have not heard from my alienated daughters for OVER AS YEAR - nothing - since the day they happily moved away with their mother. My daughters planned the move away with the mother, her attorney and the step father and kept it secret from my family and me for almost a year while being groomed to testify against us for their mother and stepfather in a kangaroo move away hearing (in our state there is a law against move aways like this if one parent objects unless there is as how of parental unfitness. The "judge" had to contrive some finding and use loopholes in the law as well as disregard others to usurp my parental rights, which he did). My children were made to use the matter of the mother's arrest and conviction against me and the mother and her attorneys made them believe that although I was victimized [the mother broke into my house, took my daughter away from me on my time, assaulted me in my house after breaking in, then hit me with her car speeding away] it was somehow my fault and not her's (that the mother was arrested, jailed and convicted) . They have chronically have been taught by their mother - and their stepfather who we believe is guilty of sexually abusing my youngest daughter - to disrespect, ridicule, and hate me and all my family. It is much worse than this but I will not detail any more. So, how do I deal with my devastation over this, my persistent hurt, anger and rage? I find it too hard to concentrate at work or be productive or motivated or be happy anymore despite a new life away from them (I have a second wife and we have a 4 year old son who my daughters scorned before they moved and ignored him entirely - despite the inexplicable fact he still loves and admires them). What do I do about my daughters? How do I cope with all this, their outrageous rejection of me and my entire family and their total replacement of me as their father with an abusive interloper? My present wife and my mother (their 83 year old grandmother) want nothing to do with them.
Dear Sir,
Your story is quite distressing in many ways. As you state you must move on from the legal issues that have now become water under the bridge.If in fact they are, so be sure the court has done ALL that can be done. What you need to reconcile with-in yourself is that you did all you possibly could have done to protect those relationships with your children. And once you are confident of that and in treatment, with good clear direction and support, worked through the rage, hurt etc..Also mourned this loss which is very difficult for many reasons The most significant that the possibility will always exist that your children may seek you out at a later time in their life as they mature and see things in a different perspective.Nonetheless, you are suffering on a daily basis from symptoms that are preventing your life from growth and enjoyment. Several things should be in place for you. Therapy (individual,and/or group), medication if necessary to function, support from your family and friends ( family with similar feelings need to address them as well or no one will move forward), and another great tool many of my patients have found very useful for many aspects of these feelings has been acupuncture.
Please feel free to write to me any of your thoughts or questions you may have, or things you may my need assistance with. Take care. Dr. Sophy @ drsophy.com
Before The Fact
Are you interested in attending a screening of the documentary Before The Fact, August 17th, in Los Angeles, California, then participating in an honest discussion about domestic violence, moderated by Adryenn Ashley, Executive Director of the Family Alliance Council? If so, send me an email.
Marc Rudov, a prominent men's advocate, will be interviewed on the radio program, "Full Power Living" this Tuesday at 9 am PST. Marc is the author of the book The Man's No-Nonsense Guide to Women, and has been active in the struggle to reform the marriage/child support laws. The program can be accessed on worldtalkradio and requires Windows Media Player to access the audio stream. The program is interactive, and urges listeners to call in, toll-free, at: 877-514-7300 Once you access the station, click on "Full Power Living" to access the audio stream. For more information, go to emotionalpro.
I'd also like to direct you to the new and improved Shared Parenting Works website. SPW offers free parenting plans and research, and welcomes contributions of different parenting plans and research. If you own or run an organization that deals with shared parenting or child custody please participate in the survey. You can copy it from this page or request one from me.
I'd like to end by thanking all of my dear friends in the fathers' and family rights movement, worldwide. Your dedication, honesty, integrity and support have made it possible for me to laugh off emails like the one I got yesterday from another activist calling me a feminazi. And to the owner of the internet network for fathers who refuses to let me post as long as I am using the title Feminist4Fathers, "Shouldn't the people who are fighting for constitutional rights also be the ones supporting my right to free speech?"
I'd like to introduce you to a new feature on the Feminist4Fathers blog, Ask Dr Sophy. Dr. Charles Sophy serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services, and has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. He is board-certified in three clinical specialties, including adult psychiatry, child/adolescent psychiatry and family practice. Feel free to submit questions directly to Dr. Sophy regarding the struggles of dealing with child custody. Please add "Feminist4Fathers" to the subject line so the question and answer can appear here (anonymously).
August 14, 2005 - Ask Dr Sophy:I am the victim of severe Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) perpetrated by my ex-wife and a victim of legal abuse perpetrated by a family court judge, attorneys and their legal system which helped permanently exile me from my kids despite no wrongdoing on my part. Despite the mother being convicted of criminal family abuse and having a long documented history of alienating my two daughters - now 16 and almost 18 - against me, a hateful, biased and corrupt family court judge punished my public opposition to him by allowing a long distance out-of-state move away of my daughters by their mother (He violated a number of laws and statutes by permitting this and appeals are fruitless - but that is another story). I - nor my entire family - have not heard from my alienated daughters for OVER AS YEAR - nothing - since the day they happily moved away with their mother. My daughters planned the move away with the mother, her attorney and the step father and kept it secret from my family and me for almost a year while being groomed to testify against us for their mother and stepfather in a kangaroo move away hearing (in our state there is a law against move aways like this if one parent objects unless there is as how of parental unfitness. The "judge" had to contrive some finding and use loopholes in the law as well as disregard others to usurp my parental rights, which he did). My children were made to use the matter of the mother's arrest and conviction against me and the mother and her attorneys made them believe that although I was victimized [the mother broke into my house, took my daughter away from me on my time, assaulted me in my house after breaking in, then hit me with her car speeding away] it was somehow my fault and not her's (that the mother was arrested, jailed and convicted) . They have chronically have been taught by their mother - and their stepfather who we believe is guilty of sexually abusing my youngest daughter - to disrespect, ridicule, and hate me and all my family. It is much worse than this but I will not detail any more. So, how do I deal with my devastation over this, my persistent hurt, anger and rage? I find it too hard to concentrate at work or be productive or motivated or be happy anymore despite a new life away from them (I have a second wife and we have a 4 year old son who my daughters scorned before they moved and ignored him entirely - despite the inexplicable fact he still loves and admires them). What do I do about my daughters? How do I cope with all this, their outrageous rejection of me and my entire family and their total replacement of me as their father with an abusive interloper? My present wife and my mother (their 83 year old grandmother) want nothing to do with them.
Dear Sir,
Your story is quite distressing in many ways. As you state you must move on from the legal issues that have now become water under the bridge.If in fact they are, so be sure the court has done ALL that can be done. What you need to reconcile with-in yourself is that you did all you possibly could have done to protect those relationships with your children. And once you are confident of that and in treatment, with good clear direction and support, worked through the rage, hurt etc..Also mourned this loss which is very difficult for many reasons The most significant that the possibility will always exist that your children may seek you out at a later time in their life as they mature and see things in a different perspective.Nonetheless, you are suffering on a daily basis from symptoms that are preventing your life from growth and enjoyment. Several things should be in place for you. Therapy (individual,and/or group), medication if necessary to function, support from your family and friends ( family with similar feelings need to address them as well or no one will move forward), and another great tool many of my patients have found very useful for many aspects of these feelings has been acupuncture.
Please feel free to write to me any of your thoughts or questions you may have, or things you may my need assistance with. Take care. Dr. Sophy @ drsophy.com
Before The FactAre you interested in attending a screening of the documentary Before The Fact, August 17th, in Los Angeles, California, then participating in an honest discussion about domestic violence, moderated by Adryenn Ashley, Executive Director of the Family Alliance Council? If so, send me an email.
Marc Rudov, a prominent men's advocate, will be interviewed on the radio program, "Full Power Living" this Tuesday at 9 am PST. Marc is the author of the book The Man's No-Nonsense Guide to Women, and has been active in the struggle to reform the marriage/child support laws. The program can be accessed on worldtalkradio and requires Windows Media Player to access the audio stream. The program is interactive, and urges listeners to call in, toll-free, at: 877-514-7300 Once you access the station, click on "Full Power Living" to access the audio stream. For more information, go to emotionalpro.
I'd also like to direct you to the new and improved Shared Parenting Works website. SPW offers free parenting plans and research, and welcomes contributions of different parenting plans and research. If you own or run an organization that deals with shared parenting or child custody please participate in the survey. You can copy it from this page or request one from me.I'd like to end by thanking all of my dear friends in the fathers' and family rights movement, worldwide. Your dedication, honesty, integrity and support have made it possible for me to laugh off emails like the one I got yesterday from another activist calling me a feminazi. And to the owner of the internet network for fathers who refuses to let me post as long as I am using the title Feminist4Fathers, "Shouldn't the people who are fighting for constitutional rights also be the ones supporting my right to free speech?"
posted by Teri at 3:26 PM
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